My son doesn’t get out of school for another twenty minutes but I have found a massive parking spot that I have easily glided into without any second glances. No sensors even had the nerve to beep at me because there was no one the fuck around. Unfortunately it wasn’t the same situation for the […]
Thar She Blows
Lights were flashing behind me as I was driving. I quickly asked myself if I had been driving badly but I knew that couldn’t be it. It had been weeks since I crashed into anything… I barely noticed them because my window tint is so dark on my vehicle. And then I realized I was […]
Home Smash Home
I sliced open the tape of the last moving box to reveal its contents. There, wrapped ever so gently, was a bunch of shit I didn’t really care about and could live without. “I don’t even remember owning this.” I thought to myself. I was so done with unpacking. But this was kind of it. […]
God is Not High Fiving Me
I cried today. I also cried three days in a row last week. It got to a point where my husband had to ask if I am getting my period. He asked ever so gently, tiptoeing around the word “period.” Like a good boy, but honestly shame on him for even asking in the first […]
The Babysitter is Your Mom Now
My husband and I were in the back seat of an Uber, heading downtown for a concert on a very rare night out for the two of us. Our three children were left under the watchful eye of our angel of a babysitter. I swear to God she was sent to this Earth solely for […]
This Cult Isn’t For Me
I love MY kids. But I don’t love kids. There is a difference. Now before you get all judgmental, let me go into more detail as to why I’m a terrible person… I like babies. The useless ones that are so brand new they can’t move or talk yet. They just squeak a little. But […]
You’re a Good Mom.
I was heading to bed around midnight when I heard a gurgling sound from down the hall. I knew what it was. I opened the door to my son’s bedroom to discover he had got sick all over the place. I managed to get his clothing changed, wash him, rip the bedding from his mattress […]
New Year, Old Me
January has come and gone. Gone with it are the bullshit resolutions I make every year that I do not accomplish. Am I disappointed in myself for failing? Oh no no no. I take pride in the fact that I have good intentions. It makes me feel like a better person knowing I planned on […]
Postpartum From His Perspective
From the view of my wonderful husband during my darkest moments.
Is it Dark in Here, or am I Just Depressed?
I dragged myself out of bed after what seemed like the millionth night in a row with insomnia. I walked to the bathroom sink and as I mustered up the strength to support myself with my tired arms leaning on the counter, I slowly looked up at the mirror. I couldn’t see the person staring […]