January has come and gone.

Gone with it are the bullshit resolutions I make every year that I do not accomplish.

Am I disappointed in myself for failing? Oh no no no. I take pride in the fact that I have good intentions. It makes me feel like a better person knowing I planned on being a better person in 2020 (and 2019, 2018, 2017…).

We all know resolutions are hard to keep, okay.

I also planned to quit yelling at my kids so much. I made it to January 2nd.

I was too hungover to yell on the 1st.

Other resolutions I made include:

– get rid of my flat mom ass

– drink more wahhh… watt… water. How the fuck do you spell it?

– actually fold the laundry in the dryer 

– less beer (more wine)

– create more content

So far I am nailing one of these things and if you’re wondering, the wine comes from a box and I still feel classy.