I am feelin’ myself this year, ladies. Or at least training myself to be feelin’ all this. It is probably safe to assume some may not have nice things to say about my pictures, but thats none of my fucking business.

I told myself 2019 is my year to get ME back and I don’t care what people approve of or expect from me. Imma do me.

I am on a confidence journey. I lost myself somewhere along the way while dedicating my life to having and raising children. I didn’t feel good about myself anymore. I felt like I had no identity other than being a mom. I used to appreciate myself and I didn’t even KNOW myself anymore. And that’s because I didn’t have any time to even consider the things that I wanted because someone had just sneezed their fucking brains out and needed a tissue NOW.

To be honest, I have always felt pretty comfortable with my looks. But doing a great job with my makeup didn’t make me look any better considering that I looked visibly uncomfortable in social situations. Anxiety has held me back from many things in my life. For years I struggled to be a conversationist. I couldn’t strike up a conversation with anybody, let alone keep one going. I wasn’t confident in the few things I had to say to anyone.

There are things that I would change about my looks, and I plan to change because I CAN to make me happy, but other things still take a ton of work. I realized I needed to be brave. I needed to push myself to be more outgoing and say yes to more things, and then being myself in these opportunities no matter the situation.

You know what is sexy? CONFIDENCE.

I was recently invited to a formal business networking event. I was the ‘plus one’ of someone I look up to and consider to be very successful. I was shitting myself. It was VIP and I had no idea what to expect. When I arrived, it was wine, champagne and designer suits. Business cards were being tossed around from one important person to another. A group of business men struck up a conversation with me and asked what I do, and I replied with,

“I don’t know what the fuck I am doing here…”

Real classy, Brady. This was a formal event and I made the decision to curse right from get go. But that is me. This is what I do. And do you want to guess what happened after that?

Everyone loosened up. Even swore a couple times themselves.

I even made a business connection! I am working my ass off to start up this website/blog about self love and confidence. It involves the technical work AND photography and my new mentor is willing to help me make this the best I can. And it all happened because I CHOSE to be my true self. I may be an acquired taste but some people see potential in me.

I had expressed my feelings to this new mentor that I was grateful for being invited to such an event but that I doubt I will get invited to another because of my behaviour, to which he responded “I think you get invited BECAUSE you’re not on your best behaviour.”

True or not, it gave me a feeling of confidence. I put myself out there, acted like myself, and people appreciated it. Maybe I’m not everyones cup of tea, but that doesn’t matter because I made the connections with the people I needed to. What good would it have done me to pretend to be something I’m not for someone else?

I am on a mission to love myself and to make YOU love yourself. I am putting myself on display so others can feel like they aren’t alone or so that they can learn that you CAN love yourself.

Do not make the mistake of being concerned with what I am doing if you do not approve of it. Only pay attention if I am inspiring you. Let’s do this.